The Atmosphere: Country Club Meets Instagram

The décor is what you'd expect from The Ivy. Lush greenery. Art deco tiling. Posh people casually ordering oysters like it’s a Greggs sausage roll.

It’s the kind of place where the waiters smile like they know you don’t belong. But they’ll still serve you… eventually.

Only downside?
We were absolutely shoehorned into a table so close to the next couple that I could have buttered their bread for them. Intimate? Yes. Voluntarily? No.

The Starters: The Zucchini Heard Round the World

So. Let’s talk starters.

We kicked off with the Truffle Arancini Balls, which were banging. Golden, cheesy, truffly goodness. Crispy on the outside, creamy on the inside, like the culinary version of a love letter from Italy.

But forget all that.
The real star of the show?
THE ZUCCHINI FRITTI.

Stacy ordered it. I nearly cried.
Crispy. Light. Salted just right.
They were thin little strips of courgette, deep-fried to absolute perfection, and seasoned by what I assume was a wizard.

We’ve tried to replicate it at home multiple times. Bought an air fryer. Watched YouTube tutorials. I even asked ChatGPT for a recipe. Nothing.
We’ve accepted defeat.
These were the GOAT of vegetables.
Zucchini Fritti? More like Zucchini Flippin’ Genius.

The Mains: High-End, High Price, No Complaints

I went full baller with the fillet steak. Medium. Silky smooth. It cut like butter and tasted like pay day. Served with sauce so rich it probably owns shares in Waitrose.

Stacy had the Chicken Milanese — crispy breaded chicken served flat as your bank account after buying it. But it was delicious, and she made sure I knew she’d made the better choice. I pretended not to care but secretly considered a trade mid-meal. The Cocktails: Financially Reckless, Emotionally Worth It

Listen. We didn’t hold back.

Cocktail after cocktail. It was basically a tasting menu of regret with a garnish. Every time we blinked, another £15 had disappeared into a martini glass. But they were delicious, so it balanced out. Probably.

I don't remember what half of them were called. I just know they had words like "infused" and "essence" and came in glasses fancier than my future.

Price Tag: A Little Ouch, A Lot of Yum

Let’s be honest. It’s on the higher end. You don’t go to The Ivy expecting a deal.
You go because you want to feel boujee, eat fancy zucchini, and pretend your life is held together by more than just iced coffee and direct debits.

And for a couple hours? It works.

Pro Tips for First-Timers:

• Book ahead unless you enjoy the thrill of disappointment

• Bring someone you’re comfortable sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with

• Order the zucchini. Trust me. If you don’t, don’t speak to me

• Pretend to understand the cocktail menu. It’s part of the theatre