Bahia Principe: Grand Coba

Alright. Cards on the table. I booked Bahia Principe Grand Coba expecting it to be the B-team. I stayed at the sister resort Grand Tulum last year and assumed this would be the cheaper, older cousin that we all avoid and only bump into visiting our Nan.

But plot twist…. Coba came to win. The vibe was better, the energy was better, and by the end of day one I was already planning to eat my assumptions for breakfast. Let me break it all down.

Lobby What Fire

A few weeks before we arrived, there’d apparently been a fire in the lobby. So I was ready for soot-stained ceilings and that faint burnt popcorn smell. What we actually walked into looked like a Pinterest board. Fully renovated, shiny, fresh, and not a single sign of chaos. If they hadn’t told me, I wouldn’t have known. Shoutout to everyone involved in this rebirth project.

Check In Like Royalty

The check-in staff were incredible. They’d clocked every little note I left on the booking. Top floor? Tick. Quiet room near the pool? Tick. They even clocked it was my birthday and went full extra. Door sash like I’d won a pageant and a bottle of warm bubbles waiting in the room. It wasn’t Moët but it was the thought that counts. We cheers’d like we were in Monte Carlo then necked it like we were in Benidorm.

Getting Carted About Like Celebs

Coba is big. Like walk-a-mile-to-breakfast big. But the resort’s golf carts were running non stop and they saved our lives more than once. You call, they appear. No idea where from. I swear they’re driven by wizards. I would have been a sweaty mess without them but instead I was gliding to dinner like I was in an episode of Cribs.

Pool of Dreams

This pool? Massive. Chest deep all the way round and hotter than the surface of the sun by 2pm. It was like getting into a bath with 40 strangers and somehow still loving it. The swim up bar was the move. Frozen drinks on tap, tequila flowing freely, and enough daiquiris to make me forget my room number daily. Special mention here to Pedro who worked hard whilst we didn’t.

The Entertainment Team Were Too Much In The Best Way

These people deserve Oscars. BAFTAs. A Netflix documentary. They were on it from sunrise to sunset. Full of energy, always chatting, always dancing, and somehow never sweating. I wanted to pack them in my suitcase and take them back to Manchester. They’d sorted my social life in five minutes.

The Gym Actually Slapped

Now I don’t usually shout about hotel gyms because they usually consist of a yoga mat, a wobbly bike, and a dumbbell someone’s nan left behind in 1998. Not here. Coba’s gym was legit. Full weight rack, machines, cardio, mirrors so you can check your pump and pretend you know what you’re doing. I trained a few times and somehow didn’t hate myself for it. Unheard of.

Buffet Bombs and Restaurant Wins

Breakfast buffet was elite. Eggs cooked fresh, loads of variety, and coffee that actually slapped. The buffet staff were next level. Proper attentive. Empty plate? Gone. Want more juice? It’s already there. Ask a question? They’re giving you recommendations like they’ve read your mind.

Dinner buffet was solid but after three nights I was craving a little switch up. Thankfully the à la carte restaurants came through like heroes.

Hindu Thali was banging. The spice hit just right and I nearly proposed to the butter chicken. Le Gourmet gave proper date night energy. Boujee food, great service, little fancy portions that made me feel like I was on MasterChef. Loved it.

Room Review Aka The Great Air Con War

The room was clean, spacious, and… yeah ok… a bit stuck in the early 2000s. Like it’s been through some stuff but still turns up looking decent. The real issue was the air con. It worked but it didn’t go Arctic and I need my room like the inside of a meat locker. I sleep best when I can see my own breath. Stacy, on the other hand, thinks 24 degrees is ‘snug’ and spent the whole trip swaddled like a smug burrito while I lay on the tiles like a melting kebab. According to our conversations with other visitors, our room seemed to be an exception to the rule here so I wouldn’t worry too much.

The Beach Is Not It Right Now

Let me be real. The beach was a bit of a flop. Not Coba’s fault and the staff there work tirelessly, fighting a losing battle to combat the invasion. The whole Riviera Maya coast is currently being bullied by sargassum which is thick, seaweed chaos that’s taken over the shoreline. You can walk along it, you can admire the view, but actual swimming? Not really an option at the time we visited. If a pristine beach is your deal breaker, this might not be the one.

Final Thoughts

Coba was the underdog I did not see coming. It’s got a better vibe than Grand Tulum by miles. The rooms aren’t quite as slick but honestly, everything else made up for it. Great food, top notch service, warm pool, stunning entertainment team, and a gym that didn’t make me cry.

Would I go back? In a heartbeat. Just give me colder air con and a beach without seaweed and I’m there.

Mr Jones Rating: 4.5 Iguanas spotted on the way to breakfast out of 5
An absolute vibe with enough tequila and pool time to forget your life back home. Recommended with full chest.